The beginning...
Because Jon had been in England for close to a month, I had neglected to make my most recent appointment with my OB...mostly because I didn’t feel like bringing my two year old, Jude, along for the visit! Needless to say, when Jon got back he kept insisting that I make my appointment. Here in our country, they don’t require that you see the doctor every week during your last month. So, essentially I was heading in for my last checkup before the birth...why not stretch it out as close to the birth right?? ;0) So, as things usually go, I made my appointment for 15 days before my due date. We’ll call it a marital compromise!!
So Wednesday seemed like a normal day when we woke up...until we went for our seemingly “normal” check up with my OB. During the ultrasound, the doctor noticed that Baby Brennan had only gained a couple ounces since my last checkup (a month & a half ago). In fact, on my last visit she commented at how BIG he was!! But now, she was quite worried that he hadn’t put on much weight. She then proceeded to “check” me and almost sent me into labor!! I told Jon right after that “I just might have this baby today, after that experience!”
Little did I know…
She went on to explain to us that Brennan was no longer thriving in the womb and she’d like to “get him out”. So she wanted to schedule an induction for the next morning!! She told Jon and I we could talk it over...but interestingly enough, God had already been preparing our hearts! We had both said this week would be a GREAT week for Brennan to be born!! So, on the spot, we were able to give her a “Yes!”
(Another truly “God” thing was that our friend Heather was still in country and could watch Jude!! This girl was a HUGE blessing to us, as she knows Jude’s schedule, rules, eating habits, etc. I felt TOTALLY relieved leaving him with her! I didn’t want him to be inconveniencing anyone! In contrast, he was totally blessing her! If Brennan had come on his due date, she would have already left the country!)
Wanting so badly to have a natural childbirth and knowing that induction can make that REALLY hard, I went home a took a dose of castor oil and did several other (perhaps mythical) things hoping that I could jumpstart labor and not have to be induced. Well, within 3 or 4 hours of taking it, I began having irregular contractions and those continued through the night with little to no progress.
It turns out being induced wasn’t as bad as I thought…
We arrived at the hospital (in our rental car, PTL again for this induction!!) around 7:30am and decided to take advantage of the landscape and took a 30 minute brisk walk around the (quite hilly) neighborhood. We then checked in and I was told to put on a backless gown, strapped to a baby monitor (of course), and given an IV. “Here we go...” I thought. This was totally against the roadmap for a successful natural delivery!!
Then came my Godsend!!
A beautiful nurse that I’ll never forget entered the scene! She (we’ll call her “Angel Nurse”) began advocating for me, repeating the exact desires I had asked of my doctor… She told the other nurses that I, in fact, did NOT have to be strapped to the monitor and COULD walk around! This was just the beginning! This woman NEVER stopped blessing me!! God was so good to send her to me!
One funny thing… She kept saying to the other nurses, “This is how all Americans do childbirth! They walk around during labor and they don’t use epidurals!” I guess of the woman she’s come across here, that’s been true! But, needless to say, I didn’t correct her misinformation!
Also, I have to say, with great thankfulness, that God provided a huge measure of CLARITY and UNDERSTANDING in our Arabic communication with the nurses!! We didn’t have any major hang ups the entire time, despite the fact that not ONE person on staff spoke English! PTL!
Ok back to labor…
Soon after being administered the IV, contractions began coming pretty strong with little relief between them (say around 10am). I did walk around, but soon it was too much to even move. Hard labor came pretty quickly.
Jon, my husband, was a total superhero and coached me so well through it all! In our Bradley Method training with our first baby, they taught us to cope with contractions by mentally going to a “place”...like the ocean, or mountains. Well, this did NOT work for me last time! I guess the ocean just isn’t enough to relax me mentally.
I have to admit, this time, Jon and I didn’t even prepare/ review for labor. But in the middle of those REALLY intense contractions I found myself begging Jon to give me an “image”, something else to focus on. And, boy, did that man pull through!! You see, we’ve been living abroad for about 9 months now. One of my deepest sources of grief about being here is missing family. The first image Jon gave me was one of getting to hold my nieces again.
...There are no words to describe what I felt. I let out a soft breath and my contraction subsided. The image stilled not only my body, but my soul. I just about broke down in tears right there!
...You see, that image, that feeling, that joy of getting to see those precious girls again...that’s not something I let myself even think about. I can’t. If I dwell so much on what I miss, I become blinded to the joy of being here! And besides, it hurts too much!
From then on, Jon retold memories and joys of our special times with our families to set me at ease.** I even began to worry at the success of this “imaging” because as soon as the words would cross his lips, my contraction would subside! I almost panicked, thinking “Oh no! I need longer contractions to help labor progress!!”
Transition…
It seemed like no time at all before I was in transition and contractions were VERY close together. The nurse came in to check me and without asking, broke my water. Although I knew what she was about to do, I didn’t object. I wanted this baby to come, and fast! Get this pain over with people!!
In this country, they still require that you move rooms for the delivery. So, within 30 minutes or so she came to take me away...nope, not on a rolling bed...IN A WHEELCHAIR!! Are you kidding me?? Oh right, how’s this going to work?? My contractions are one on top the the other and I’m supposed to crawl into a wheelchair?? Seriously people.
It took about 4 contractions to muster up the energy, and with every contraction I knew I was getting closer and closer to needing to push. I told Jon he was going to have to lift me into the chair. So I let my body go limp (because I wanted to avoid having a contraction on the way to the room), and Jon guided me into the chair. They quickly wheeled me down the hall and into the room, while Jon had to go put scrubs on.
We got to the delivery room and I suddenly had the urge to push. If you’ve ever had a baby, you know this OVERWHELMING, UNDENIABLE sensation!! There’s just no stopping it! But stop it they did! She told me firmly that I could NOT push in the chair! What was my other option?? ...Climbing onto a 3 1/2 foot delivery table!!! There were seriously STEPS to climb up!! Again, WHAT IN THE WORLD were these people thinking??? So, I did what any desperate woman would… I practically jumped onto that table (all the while revealing my ENTIRE backside to the ALL the nurses), knowing that it was my only ticket to ending this pain and pushing!!!
Not The Way of the West...
Before you keep reading, you have to understand this society. In America we value independence, pushing the envelope, discovery, and individuality. Here they value oneness, unity, respect of authority, and honor. For me, in labor, this translated into confusion for the nurses when I didn’t want to do things the way I was being told! The following are a few examples...
After I hopped up on that table, contractions began coming hard again… but I had a few battles I needed to win before I was going to be able to get this baby out!!
First, they wanted me FLAT on my back. I was like, um, IMPOSSIBLE. ...at least it felt like it. How are you supposed to push a baby out with no leverage?? So, quite panicked and in pain, I began screaming (not angrily, just desperate) in Arabic for some pillows. It’s amazing my brain could produce that in such a disoriented moment! Here, once again, Angel Nurse was my advocate. The other nurses gave quick rebuttals, but she stepped in and directed them to get me some pillows, and FAST! Because the table didn’t even incline, they had to actually disassemble part of the table and stuff pillows underneath it!
A CLEAR sign that delivery is upon you is loss of decency. Yep, that means the clothes come off!! That was the next step. And to think these nurses were looking at me like I was taking my clothes off. Oh wait… They kept trying to stop me, telling me I JUST HAD to wear my gown and yet again, Angel Nurse advocated for me! And I got my naked way!!
Next came the stirrup fight. They wanted to strap my legs firmly into the stirrups. I wanted to “hold my own” as they say. I feel like it’s much more effective to hold your own knees and (essentially) push against yourself. Do I even have to say it, Angel Nurse came to the rescue...she told the other nurses to let me do what I wanted! Yea!!! I could have kissed her!!
For the record, it took all of about 60 seconds for that to take place...
“He’s here, he’s here, that’s him!!"...
After all that, I guess I was energized. Because here came Brennan. I started screaming that it was time to push (I didn’t know the word in Arabic, but somehow they understood, Ha!) This was ONE thing Angel Nurse was adamant about… (**if you get queasy don’t read this**) she literally reached in a HELD Brennan in place. The doctor hadn’t arrived, so she was going to keep him in until she came!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Crazy, I know.
Thankfully the doctor was only a minute away. But still she held him in for 3 contractions, all the while I was screaming “I need to PUSH!!!”. Needless to say, I was READY when the doc arrived. The first push brought little Brennan’s head. (**warning to the queasy**) The second push brought, well...EVERYTHING else. By that I mean his entire body…and a SPLASH! That’s right. Anything and everything left in me SHOT out at the doctor, spraying her gown. Ha! I guess it was the remaining amniotic fluid. Kinda gross, but definitely something we laughed about afterward!
They put that sweet little Brennan right on my belly. The doc immediately cut the cord (kinda disappointing, although not a huge deal...hah...maybe Jon was relieved! It’s kinda slimy!)
They didn’t suction his nose and mouth like they had done in the States. And he wasn’t crying… “He’s not crying! I need him to cry! I need to hear him cry! Please make him cry!” Were my words to the doctor. She then lied to me and told me he was crying (um, bizarre, didn’t she know I was laying RIGHT there?? He definitely wasn’t crying!!). They then took him off my belly and did something I didn’t see and suddenly he cried. I felt this desperate relief and suddenly my whole heart was FULL!!!
Then I couldn’t take my eyes off of Jon. “He’s here, he’s here, that’s him!! Brennan’s here Babe!! We did it! I love you!!” It all came gushing out. I was SO thankful we’d made it!! (Time: 1:35pm)
The Superhero...
Then, surprisingly, the nurses started gushing over Jon too!! They kept saying they were going to get his telephone number and call him anytime a woman had a hard time during labor! If only he could come help, everything would be ok!
I just loved the example he set for those women on how a husband can love and bless his wife. They have NEVER seen a man serve his wife this way (the waiting room is FULL of daddies at this hospital)!! That man labored WITH me and loved me gently the whole way through. They saw every bit of it and I pray they saw our King through him too! I am SO thankful for this teammate! I honestly could NOT have done it without him!!
Finishing touches…
So, for the sake of those who’ve never traversed this path before, I’ll give the “afterbirth” details. Seconds after Brennan was born I pushed a couple more times to birth the placenta. No worries, it was easy breezy. Soon after the doctor administered some local anesthesia and began stitching up my tears (of which there were few). With my first baby I tore 1 degree. This time I just had some small inter-vaginal tears.
And just a warning, I would recommend discussing GENTLENESS with your doctor in the visits prior to birth (this may be obvious from your prior visits, but for me she’d not done any vaginal exams until the “checking” I mentioned at the beginning)!! Again, with my first, this stitching was painful, but not too bad. But this time, I seriously thought she was using a NAIL as a needle. So much for “a womanly touch”!!
After all the “doctoring” was done, we had to stay in the delivery room for two hours so that I could “bleed”. It was a little peculiar I thought. Don’t they know I’ll be bleeding for two more weeks?? Who knows.
I’ll tell you now that hospitals here give NO FREEBIES. Boy, are we spoiled in the States!! Whew! Lemme just tell you that they didn’t even supply birthing pads (for bleeding), baby diapers, or wipes!! Even just all the feminine care items I got in the hospital (sitz bath, etc) weren’t provided. You really have to remember to bring them on your own!
I guess technically in the States they aren’t freebies. You do PAY for them! Perhaps thats one of the reasons Jude’s birth (my first) cost like a bajillion times what Brennan’s did!
(For the record, I landed at the hospital sans a baby blanket, hat, diapers, and wipes! Yikes! I didn’t know they wouldn’t provide all of it!)
So here’s the summary…and a few notes...
-We made it. God totally provided for us! We are SO thankful for all of your prayers during that time! What a gift!
-Induction wasn’t as horrible as I’d heard. I have to clarify that I was NOT given Pitocin. And (thanks to Rachel SUPER-duper) I asked that they not give me a strong dose at the beginning...but that they start with a small dose and increase it as needed. I think this kept the contractions from being unbearable. For the record, I do feel like this labor was more intense. I didn’t have a break really between contractions.
-Back massaging, imaging, and movement seemed to help me through labor the most.
-As for the IV. I must say to you that I was SO thankful for it. Lemme give you some background…
Lots of natural birth folks prefer to do labor without an IV hooked up to their arms. And I can TOTALLY understand that, for ease of movement, etc. BUT. My first labor was 23 hrs. By the end of it I was TOTALLY dehydrated and actually ended up fainting at my first attempt at significant movement following labor. My recovery was LONG and painful. I was energy-less! I think if I had opted for an IV, that would have been different.
One significant thing I noticed following Brennan’s birth was MY ENERGY to ENJOY my BABY! Even looking at the pictures, I could hardly manage a smile after Jude (my first) was born. I was SO spent. This time I was ready to climb the stairs (which I did within 4 hrs)!! I was SMILING when I held Brennan for the first time. I was able to ENJOY this blessed little thing in my arms!!
So, here’s a thought. I'm no expert, but if you’re opting out of having an IV, and you find yourself not progressing quickly in labor...maybe consider asking for it. It may mean JOY versus FATIGUE when your baby arrives! Hydration makes such a HUGE difference!!
-As for the labor coach… Seriously people. This thing can BOND you! I have been so thankful for these two opportunities to let Jon LOVE and SERVE me! Ok, ok, so I was bringing his baby into the world, I deserved it right??? But really, this teamwork was so unifying! This unique bonding is a HUGE benefit of natural labor!!
-Here’s a not fun topic...Weight. With my first I gained almost (a whopping) 50 pounds!! Yuck, ugh, blah. Go ahead. Judge me. I think that weight may have been the cause of how horrible I felt during my pregnancy, the lack of strength I had for labor, and how miserably I recovered afterwards. I actually DREADED being pregnant again!! But this time I gained only 24 pounds!! It felt like a TOTALLY different experience! I LOVED being pregnant, had TONS of strength for labor, and recovered like new in NO time! (For the record they were both summer pregnancies, and this time I did it with little to no air conditioning in Africa!!) ***
-This time I “obeyed” the laws of natural birth like staying hydrated, continuing to MOVE, RELAXing, breathing NATURALLY, and having a good coach. I have to say, looking back, that this labor was INCREDIBLE compared to my first. I guess I was more familiar with the process, but really this time I was more committed to doing it right (aka making it easier on myself). I saw the fruits of that and I am SO thankful I tried natural labor again!
I’d say this whole deal was pretty much a success.
The evidence is clear…
I’m sitting here typing one-handed.
My other hand is wrapped around a
beautiful baby boy
that I’ll love all the days I live!!!
**If we lived near family, I can’t say with certainty that the thought of them would be quite as relaxing!! Ha! But for now, I long to be in their arms again! :0)
***I can’t say that not gaining weight was entirely intentional this time (I didn’t even know if could be done so successfully!), but here are a few tips that worked for me:
-Drinking 3 Liters (that’s 101 fl oz) of water EVERYDAY. This is something I have to force myself to do, but my energy is up because of it!
-Building exercise into my non-optional schedule (aka things I MUST do). I’m horrible at sticking to a gym-like routine!! Props to you if you can! For me this meant traveling to language school, walking in 4 ten minute segments throughout the day (to & from the metro, there & back). Even if it’s in 10 minute segments, try to do what you can.
-Living in a country with VERY yummy fruit!! Ok. So you might not be able to make a huge move like mine for your pregnancy! But I would highly recommend finding healthy food that you LOVE. The grocery store might not have it. Check out a Farmer’s Market near you and try buying the fruit that’s in season (vs. the forced-grown out of season blah fruit). Can I just say, if Lynsey grew fruit, and I lived in TX, I’d buy it from her?? Gimme some homegrown!!
-And seriously, it just down right helps that I don’t really care for the food here!! So it didn’t take tons of self control!!
This one's a little old. But cute nonetheless!!
Blessed sweetness! We just LOVE this daddy!!
Happy Momma!!
Dad & Jude
Mom & Jude
Blessed sweetness! We just LOVE this daddy!!
Happy Momma!!
Dad & Jude
Mom & Jude
