Saturday, December 06, 2008

Turnaround


this year is to me
a story
of sorts
a medley
of mourning
and mending.
Not just peeling back
but
tearing
aching
bleeding.
the kind of pain that makes you feel your heartbeat.

cowardly
i shook my fist at You.
i begged You to make it stop.
i idolized the pleasantness of peace.
please Jesus.
please.
i wanted relief
more than
i wanted You.

and
then,
as a last resort
i clung to You
knuckles white.
i leaned in
desperate to hear
that pulse
so steady
so quiet.
and slowly
ever so
slowly
i felt
Life
course through my veins
and awaken me
to rich
shameless
dependency.

i saw myself as i was
so broken
so at the mercy of my own
failure
my own emotion
my own irrationality.

and then i saw You.
so able
so ready
not resenting me for my need
not dragging your feet
but so unmistakably ready to love
and undeniably strong enough
to fix me.
to heal me.

and now
here i am
leaving this place
with scars
with delightfully shameful reminders
of what was
and what You did
only by mercy
to change me.

i'm leaving this place
with a heart
full of love
full of joy
full of a desperate awareness
that YOU
are all i have.

so here's to hope.
here's to You not giving up on me.
here's to a beautiful turnaround.
a glorious, merciful turnaround.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Through our Eyes/ Take a Walk

Our Joy Boys
________________

Let's just say this post has been a LONG time coming. Since the day we decided to come home early, it's been a WHIRLWIND.

For so long I've wanted to fill you in on what normal looks like for us here. I regret that I didn't do this sooner. I'm so thankful for the family and friends that got to come visit us while we were here...they really got to see life through our eyes! It's been such a challenge and joy living here that I don't want to miss the chance to share it with you!

Also, Angie tagged me like four years ago but I haven't had the time to post. So here's a fulfillment of sorts...some very random things about this country!! Sorry it's taken so long Angie!
________________________________________________________________

So for a long time I refused to work out/ go walking in my neighborhood because I didn't want to stand out as a foreigner.

Well, we've been here long enough. Everyone knows I'm a foreigner. I'm mean really people, it's obvious. I figure I might as well go ahead and get my exercise...it's surely not making me stand out more than I already do!!

And...before I wasn't really needing to exercise because Jon & I were walking 40 minutes a day to and from the metro to get to our language school. And my oh my, I am NOT complaining!! Could things be ANY more ideal-- that my exercise was built-right-into my schedule?? I didn't even have a chance to get out of it!! LOVED that.

But we're not doing formal language school right now, so in the house I sit. Yep, and something about sitting must make your hips bigger...I'm sure of it.

A mom told me once (I think it was Jenn) that she runs because, with four kiddos, it's the best way to burn the most calories the fastest. Well folks, I think that'd be just about over the top in this country. So I'm sticking to walking. However, every once in awhile I get this strong urge to run. TOTALLY bizarre, I know. But it's one thing I REALLY look forward to....but maybe by the time I get the chance I won't have to wear spandex, get my drift???

Anyway, for the last 3 months, I've been taking the boys for walks several days a week. With Jude in stroller and Brennan in the pack, we'd head out for some fitness, fun, and fresh air. And recently I brought my camera along for some fun. I apologize for the low quality of some of these pictures! I didn't want to draw onlookers, so I was shooting quickly!

Below you'll find a list of fun things we see/ experience while walking, peppered with some not-so-fun things. ;0)

I'm doing this as much for myself as I am for you...ok maybe more. I don't want to forget the life we lived here. It holds so much significance for what the Lord did in us!! And one day Brennan will want to know what it looked like! He was born here!

After reading, you'll see that I have NO problem keeping Jude entertained in the stroller!!

- Chickens. Yep, free-roamin', trash-eatin', street-dominating Chickens. All sizes, shapes, and colors cross our path.If you look really close, on the left side of the picture, you can see where they slaughter the chickens (right there in the street!)

-Bougainvilleas! Most every house has a walled-in terrace here, and some of the walls have these gorgeous flowers hanging over them. I hate the closed-in feeling of all the white washed walls (aka you don't see anyone's yard or front door)...it just seems so unwelcoming! But for me, these flowers scream, "Hey! I would LOVE some visitors!" I like to think that the people who live inside are friendly. ;0)

-Sheep. Often they're herded through the neighborhood leaving wonderful gifts behind them on every last step of the street! This picture is taken standing at my kitchen sink!!


-TRASH. Big nasty piles of yuck-filled madness. The pictures don't even do it justice! Needless to say, here second graders are NOT taught the "Don't mess with Texas" slogan. This was a big shocker when I came but, sadly, I hardly notice it now (unless it smells).

A story on this-- my neighbor & I were once discussing the value of cleanliness in our cultures and she told me it's a HIGH value to keep your house virtually spotless, but LAUGHED when I asked her about the street....like, who in the world would clean the street? ...I guess it's obvious I come from nice, clean suburbia.
This is just across the street from our house.

When the pile gets big enough they burn it. And BOY does it smell GOOD!

-Wild dogs. Yeppers, it's true. But they don't attack. THANKFULLY.

-Construction Equipment! Jude LOVES this one! He identifies each piece as we walk by and repeats them louder if I don't respond to him with a, "You're right, buddy. That IS a backhoe." Seriously. He's a boy.

-Cat Corpses. And live cats too. But, surprisingly, sometimes the live ones are more gross than the dead ones. I don't have a picture for you. That would be morbid.

-Jasmine & Honeysuckle! Again, lovely. Makes my nose happy!

-CONTRAST. It's amazing how the VERY wealthy live right next door to the VERY poor here. These two pictures are both from my neighborhood.
The Rich.

And the Poor.
_______________

Now.
For our house.
You've seen plenty of the inside. Here's a few of around the place.
The pic at the top of our blog is a view of the city from our rooftop!
Our gate and living room balcony.

The view from our living room balcony.
Yep. A Dump!

That Dump sells bricks for building.

The view from our kitchen balcony.

I hope this post even semi-interesting. Just so you know, I've spent 3 months writing it! I just wanted it to be perfect. But, alas, it cannot be. For several reasons, but namely because
1. I am not Brandon nor Bethan Rogers.
2. My life is CRAZY busy at the moment!

Well, at least it's on paper...err...the internet! You know what I mean!
More to come soon!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Addtional Sale Photos

Here are a few more pictures of items for sale.
To see more, keep scrolling down.

Dutailier Rocker/Glider (Canadian Made)

Rectangular Table (folding)
& Chairs (stackable)

Circular Table (folding)
& Chairs (stackable)

Large Kumtel Heater

3 Coil Koala Heater

If you're interested in purchasing any items, please email us!
Thanks!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Sale Stuff

Excuse us! If you don't live in our country, you'll find this post rather odd!!

Because we're heading home, we're putting our stuff up for sale.

Below you'll find pics of items we have for sale.
They are in the order they are listed in the "Estes Sale List" document.

Decorative Lamp

Desk Lamp

Couch # 1
This set comes with a matching Glass-Top Coffee Table.
(Wood is Dark Brown)
(Cushions are Sage Green, Burgundy, & Brown)

Couch # 2

This is the detail in the wood on the back of the couch.

Night Stands
(set of 2)

Free-Standing Cabinet
(approx. 3 ft. tall)
(2 available-
one with bronze hardware,
one with white/silver hardware)

Dishes (serves 6) & Silverware
(2 sets of silverware available-
one set (on left) Classic Round (serves 6),
one set (on right) Modern (serves 6)

Burgundy Rug
(set of 2, if desired)
(feet not included ;0)

Light Brown Rug
(set of 2, if desired)

If you're interested in seeing a picture not listed here. Please email us!
Thanks!
Hope this was helpful!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Happy Birthday Gracie!!!

This is classic Gracie--
lovin' on her sister
big smile
curly blonde locks
a pretty bow
and PINK fingernails!!!
LOVE it!!Happy Birthday Sweet Grace Olivia Birdsell!!
We wish we were there to celebrate!!
We love you GOBS!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Adventures of Mister Jude...and a lil treasure


So Kendra calls them "Taylor Joyisms".
But "Jude Elijahisms" doesn't really work, ya know?
Neither does Judaism. For obvious reasons. Ha.
Hmm. What should we call them?
Nothing's coming to me just now.
But I thought I'd share some total cuteness with you.
We'll classify this under the 2 year update. I know I'm late. So shoot me.
Hope you enjoy these as much as we do!
His little phrases have a way of disarming me. When I'm fed up or tired out Jude usually manages to say something that I can't help but smile at!!
Wanna be a fly on our wall?
On an given day, these are the things you'd hear:

Every SINGLE morning we hear this at least 6 times in a row: "Good Morning Brennan!! Sleep Well??"

First it was to Pops, now it's to everyone: "Happy Birthday to You!"

After taking medicine (which we've been doing a lot of lately): "Feel Better?"

He caresses Brennan's head and says "Sweet Baby". :0)

I was having to be really firm with Jude at bed time, making sure he didn't leave his bed. After a long struggle and some discipline, I was just plain frustrated as stood at the door, arms crossed, to monitor him. But my heart instantly melted with an almost whisper from his sweet lips: "Cuddle you?" Seriously. I almost wept.

With a very distressed face: "I can't find it."
And after recruiting me to help look: "Find it?"

The other night Jon & I were chatting in the living room as Jude was falling asleep and I sneezed. And out came a sweet little "Bless you!" from his bedroom! Ha!

After suggesting we go on a walk, or watch a movie, or read books, or play: "Sound good?"

Jon first heard this phrase while he was out on a walk with Jude. They came to a clearing and Jude turned to look up at Jon..."Race you!" And took off running! It was unmistakable!
Now he's learned: "I win!!"

Trying to make light of something that actually hurt pretty badly: "Owwie Kazzowwie!"
And after Mom or Dad kisses it: "All Better!"

The kid loves fruit, but thankfully he knows: "Wash it first?"

And more love for B-Baby: "Brennan's Smiling!" "Brennan's Yawning!"

You can totally judge us. But back from the days of Martin... "Dang Gina!!"

When playing chase: "I got ya!"

Thanks to Aunt Amy (of course!!): "Oh Stinky!"

The other day Brennan was tootin' up a storm. Jude got this crooked smile on his face and looked up at me: "Mommy Tooted?" I quickly cleared up the confusion, telling him not to blame it on Mommy! ...Mommy doesn't do stuff like that.

And on that note: Sometimes when pumping Brennan's legs for his gassiness we sing a little diddy-- "Get those pooties outta your booty". And now every time we do it, Jude tells Brennan very directly: "Get Pooties OUT!"

Two words: "Squishy Face!"

Once while I was nursing Brennan, Jude tugged on him: "MY Mommy!!" Poor guy. Jealousy's got him bad.

After knocking down a block tower, quite victoriously: "Knocked it down!"

We've tried to train Jude not to stand up in his chair at the table. But every once in awhile we have to stand on a chair to get something out of a cabinet, etc. And if Jude's around, we're surely corrected: "Get down. RIGHT NOW!"

When being the boyish risk taker he is, you'll hear him repeat: "Careful!" and "Don't Fall!"
...and sometimes this comes out in Arabic too! I guess he still remembers his nanny!

And the most charming of all. In the last month our sweet boy has learned the ever so meaningful: "I love you!"

If you made it to here, I'm totally impressed!
Anyway, Jude is TONS of fun these days!

Here are some pics from Jude's Birthday that I totally neglected to share with you. Scroll to the bottom to see him blow out his candles! To him nothing existed but that cake!!
Enjoy!!

Daddy & the Judenator!

He ate TWO pieces!!


Yep, that's carrot cake in the dump truck!

Who knows what this face was for!!


This is what happened when we told Jude to smile:

And where he got THIS face, I have NO idea!And THIS is as close as we got!!Just had to add one with Baby B in it!!

And here's Jude blowing out candles!
You'll notice at one point he closes his eyes...I think he thought we were worshiping!!
Of course at the end I tried and tried to get him to say "I'm TWO!"...but he just could NOT take his focus off of that cake! Ha!


a special little gift.
I hate to tag this at the end...
but I hope it's worth it!!

Precious B!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Chicken Pastaladas

***If you've already made this, I'm so sorry! But I have a change to make. It was haunting me in bed last night. (Yes, I'm crazy.) I think if you opt to use the canned cream of onion soup, it'll turn out too dry with not enough sauce. SO...I made a change below.

Here's an easy breezy recipe named for it's similar flavor to Chicken Enchiladas, but instead of tortillas it's served with whole wheat pasta! Jude (age 2) ate this up and even asked for more!

Chicken Pastaladas
  • 4 chicken breasts (cut into 2 in strips, use scissors- it's easier!)
  • chopped onion & bell pepper to taste
  • 1 can cream of onion soup w/ 1 cup milk (OR 1 packet onion soup prepared w/ 2 cups of milk, instead of water)
  • 1 packet taco seasoning
  • shredded cheese (optional)
  • whole wheat pasta spirals
Preheat oven to 400F. Place chicken strips in pan, sprinkle with onion & bell pepper. Mix Onion Soup with taco seasoning and pour over chicken. Bake at 400F for 30min. In last 5 min, top with cheese. Serve with whole wheat pasta spirals.

(For those who are wondering, I brought taco seasoning with me from the States!)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Oh Happy Day!!



Brennan
You’re so much more real to me now.
A personality,
sweet affection,
rewarding reciprocation...
When I look into your eyes I see that big heart of yours.
Since the day I saw the plus sign, I’ve prayed for JOY to fill your heart.
And now here it is, staring back at me.
:0)
I love it!
Jesus make it grow!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!!!

I couldn't have known
when I first saw you
how my heart would swell
and fill with love
I couldn't have known
what your tiny form would become
so precious, so perfect
a blend of your dad and me.
I couldn't have known
that serving you
would be
my heart's delight.
I couldn't have known
that your sweet voice
could still me and fill me
with such deep joy.
I couldn't have known
the hard days would come
so tired, so humbled
by how to raise you.
I couldn't have known
how desperately
a child
needs Jesus.

I couldn't have known
how loving you
would show me
just how much I need Jesus.
But here we are
two years past
and I'm finding myself
with not quite enough words
to tell you all you are to me.
Jude
I can't tell you enough that I love you.
I can't do enough to capture memories with you.
Time is passing so quickly.
And some days I feel like I'm failing.
But I pray with my WHOLE heart that you see Him in me.
That's what all this is for.
You won't be mine forever.
But I pray you'll always be His.
I love you my little Judebug.
Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!