So when Jude was tiny, a single girl asked me what made me the most anxious about parenting.
My answer:
Potty Training!
I was totally baffled at how an itty baby, after over a year (or maybe 3) of peeing freely in a diaper, could suddenly learn to "hold it".
And that "suddenly" part was my problem.
There's TONS of stuff online about potty training your kid in a DAY, two days, a week, and so forth.
And I read those things. And I'm not saying they are impossible. Just saying that not every kid will respond to those as quickly as they claim. Namely, my kid!
For me every ONE success story I read, left me with 35 stories of failure.
Needless to say, this fueled my fears!!
So, I want to share how it all shook out for us. But first:
1) The longer I'm a parent, the more I realize that SERIOUSLY there is virtually NEVER just ONE way to do things. I'm all about making the system work in your favor. Do whatever you need to for YOUR kid.
2) Don't feel pressured. Barring any real & serious issues, your child WILL NOT be in diapers when he's sixteen. She will NOT wear a diaper to her prom. Don't fret. Eventually your kid will get it. Which leads me to my next point:
3) YOU decide how hard this is going to be. Your attitude is EVERYTHING. If you're bathed in stress over this, potty training will be very consumingly stressful. Don't let the anxiety overcome you-- it will be obvious to your kid and VERY obvious in your patience level! We're called to honor the Lord in this too!!
4) I don't want to come across like this was an easy, three-step process for us. (In fact, this isn't even a recommendation necessarily-- more like a retelling of events!!) PT was trying and annoying at times. And no, I didn't always keep a good "perspective". It definitely has its stressors-- but hopefully these tips can be helpful.
Our story on potty training (PT):Starting YoungWith some counsel (mostly from my mom) & logic, we decided to start Jude early on PT. Everything I read online was against this! EVERYone was saying you can't have success until after the kid is 3. But we figured the younger he was, the less likely he'd be to have an opinion about it all (aka fighting us on it) and the easier it would be on all of us! So off we went...
So, when Jude was around 17 months we bought a CHEAP little self-sitting potty and starting chatting with Jude about it. We read books on it and pointed out how all the people he knew & loved went on the potty too!
Daddy goes on the potty. Mommy goes on the potty. Aunt Mary goes on the potty. Pops goes on the potty. Uncle Scott goes on the potty.
You get the point.
Here comes the potentially grossest part:
We decided that whenever we had the chance, we were going to let Jude play without a diaper on. This, "experts say" will help him recognize the sensation of going. At the beginning, I set a timer & we sat on the potty every 15 minutes. But that didn't last long because he got the hang of it pretty quickly and we went to wearing undies around the house.
And yes, I cleaned up a LOT of pee. And even some poo. But it helps a TON if you can keep their play area confined to a tiled or wood floor. I'm not about paying for carpet cleaning.
(Hint: We ALWAYS kept a little spray bottle of disinfectant & a roll of paper towels handy.)
And, of course, Jude would fight me on heading to the bathroom every 15 minutes. But this became a CLEAR discipline issue. He was refusing to obey mommy, so he faced consequences. And then we sat on the potty and tried.
And for awhile, to make things fun while we waited (and sometimes it was a looonngg time), we would read books while he "tried". This made the potty more fun.
We intended to make the switch to a kid potty that sits on the actual toilet (for clean up purposes). But by the time we did, we found he was big enough to be more comfortable without it. So he went to sitting on the toilet around 27 months (2 yrs and change).
Do what You can, When You canAbout 3 times we hit walls. We weren't having ANY success. So, we took a break & tried again.
And we always just PTed when we were able. We were NOT holed up in the house for weeks or months on end. If we had to go out we just used a diaper. And then took it off and tried some more when we got home.
A couple times we had to take almost month long breaks, like when Brennan was born & when we went to Turkey for 2 weeks. Then other times we took week long breaks when we had to leave the country for visa renewal. And we just picked it back up after we got home & settled.
I think it was really great for him to do it gradually and in a no-pressure situation. I wasn't panicking that he had to be PT by some certain date. This relieved ALL of us!
And Jude gradually got the hang of it, as we tried our HARDEST to be patient.
Eventually we had to cut out the reading books on the potty thing, for practical/ time reasons. :0)
When we had guests over we had to take EXTRA precautions lest he get wrapped up in playing and have an accident! (a story on that later)
Set A Goal (and maybe give an incentive)So, we finally set a date: coming home from Africa. We told Jude that Pops & Grammie did NOT like pee-pee on their floor. We talked this one up BIG TIME and to great success, I have to say. I think he only had a two or three accidents in the 4 months we lived there!
Setting a goal really helped Jude get over that last hurdle. He knew it was time to step it up and got really excited about it!
Some people use incentives- stickers, candy, etc. But honestly it didn't even occur to me. That is, until my sister,
Mary, mentioned it, and just at the right time. When we hit a deep slump, M&Ms became a HUGE part of PT. And it caused the great success that led to the finish line.
I bought one big bag of M&Ms and told Jude that he got one M&M for going #1 and two M&Ms for going #2 on the potty. And when we finished the bag we told him the M&Ms were all gone, and he didn't ask for them much more after that. And by that time he was so used to going that we had major success!
Toward the last 2 months we went to wearing a Pull-Up when going out and, again, just undies around the house. (P.s. I found that name brand Pull-Ups leaked
quickly! The off-brand ones have held up so much better! And they are (in my experience) always
several dollars cheaper than the name brand + coupon!)
How Long will it Take?Don't be discouraged when I say this, because our situation was
UNIQUE. Like I said, we took month long breaks at times. Anyway, from buying that little potty to feeling confident that he could last a 2-3 hr car ride, it took us 10 months. Before 2 1/2 he was a fully-functioning potty-goer.
I've heard before that girls are easier to train than boys, and granted I haven't had a girl, but comparing PT to my sisters, I don't think Jude was "slow" or "hard". I guess it depends a lot more on the kiddo's temperment.
So, you may be a really driven Mom wanting to conquer this thing and get it out of the way. Totally try
the quick methods! I encourage you to do it!! I just had to remember that this was one of my first chances to explore my little guy's temperment and see how he learns. And, in our case, he definitely didn't turn out to be as driven as his daddy!
And, Brennan will be a different kiddo! Maybe he'll end up being one of the kids who can tackle it in "just under 4 hrs of training". HA! We'll see!!
Happy Potty Training!!
There's a REASON that ALL of these men are scary skinny!
There's a REASON that ALL of these men are scary skinny!
